Why do we find it so hard to forgive?
It’s so easy to hold on to the anger, the hurt, the frustrations that are caused by a friend or family member. It kinda feels as though we are letting them off the hook if we let go of those feelings. The trouble is, those feelings aren’t hurting or punishing the one who did the hurting. They are hurting those of us carrying the hurt and pain around, reliving the moments, reliving the hurt, whilst they just carry on with their life as if nothing happened. One of the best lessons I have ever learned is that forgiveness isn’t saying that what they did was okay, it’s saying that you are not going to let it hurt you any longer, it’s letting it go and not allowing what they did to control the rest of your life. So when you feel like you can’t forgive someone, remind yourself that it will affect them in no way, but it will free yourself from their control.
Holding on to the past, the past hurts and pain, keeps us stuck in that moment. If we can find a way to forgive those who have done wrong by us and let it go, we can free ourselves and begin to move on to bigger and better times.
It’s hard, I know, but it is necessary for our own well-being. Forgiveness doesn’t condone the bad behaviour of others, it just means you are free from anger and resentment. Just ask yourself, how is you being angry and resentful punishing them? The chances are, your answer would be, it’s not. No, it’s punishing you, you are the one suffering, you suffered when they hurt you and if you haven’t managed to let it go then you are suffering again and again for something that is in the past. Acknowledge that it happened, accept that it cannot be changed no matter how much you want it to, then and only then will you be able to let it go and finally move on to a better life.
If it’s yourself you have to forgive, just remind yourself that we all do what we think is right at the time, yes, sometimes we make bad choices, but punishing ourselves for something we cannot change is not going to put it right. Accept that you too are human, you make mistakes, you don’t always get it right. But if you forgive yourself for your errors you can take the lesson you have learned and put it to good use, knowing that you will make better choices in the future.
So whether it is yourself you have to forgive or someone else, forgive and let it go. You will feel freer, lighter, and ready to move on.
Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Holding a grudge weighs down your spirit and can make you become a person you don't want to be.
How do you let go? How do you forgive? For me, I just remind myself that people either didn’t mean to hurt me and are genuinely sorry or that they knew no better. People are like they are for a reason; it doesn’t excuse their behaviour, but it does explain it. This quote from Abraham Maslow sums it up for me:
1. When people appear to be something other than good and decent, it is only because they are reacting to stress, pain or the deprivation of basic human needs such as security, love, and self-esteem. – Abraham Maslow
2. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. – Roy T. Bennett
(I often take a deep breath and remind myself of this when someone has been incredibly rude, and it helps me to get perspective and not retaliate)
3. When we don't forgive, we're not hurting the other person. We're not hurting the company that did us wrong. We are only hurting ourselves. – Joel Osteen
4. You really don't have to burn any bridges to let go… You don't have to destroy anything. You can just decide to cross over and move on. - Marta Mrotek
5. Once your negative emotions, beliefs and expectations have been processed and released, you're free to feel positive again. – Nick Ortner
6. Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free. - Thich Nhat Hanh
7. Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. - Shannon L. Alder
8. If you don't leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away. – unknown
9. Letting go may sound so simple, but rarely is it a one time thing. Just keep letting go, until one day it's gone for good. - Eleanor Brownn
10. There is a trick to a graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognise when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over - and to let go. It means leaving what's over without denying it's value. - Ellen Goodman
11. You can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it. - Mahatma Gandhi
12. You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. - Jan Glidewell
13. True forgiveness is when you can say, ‘thank you for that experience’ - Oprah Winfrey
14. The most difficult aspect of moving on is accepting that the other person already did. - Faraaz Kazi
15. People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. They prefer suffering that is familiar to the unknown. - Thich Nhat Hanh
16. The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. - Steve Maraboli
17. The best revenge is no revenge. Move on. Be happy. – Unknown
18. You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles. C. JoyBell C.
19. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. - Maya Angelou
20. Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday. Realise the past no longer holds you captive. It can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it. Let the past go. A simply abundant world awaits. - Sarah Ban Breathnack
21. When we hate our enemies, we are giving them our power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness. - Dale Carnegie
22. Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else's crime. -Unknown
23. Once you realise you deserve a bright future, letting go of your dark past is the best choice you will ever make. - Roy T Bennett
24. Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over. - Nicole Sobon
25. Never ruin a good day by thinking about a bad yesterday. - Unknown
I hope you enjoyed these 25 Quotes on Forgiveness and Letting Go to Help You Move on and Enjoy Life Again. don't forget to Save them to your Pinterest boards for later :)
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