I am writing this particular blog today as I am in serious need of letting go of some of my old limiting beliefs and have been working on it all day. The beliefs I am needing to let go of are not mine, but ones instilled in me by others, as they so often are.
Why do we find it so damn hard to let go of something we don’t even want, and was never ours in the first place?
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”
- Anthony de Mello
Beliefs that get stuck in our minds so deep that our unconscious mind believes them to be true, send us down the wrong path in our lives. We end up in a place that is not where and what we want, with a job we don’t like of which does not fulfill us, and people that don’t encourage us or make us feel bad about ourselves. Yes, I know this blog is starting to sound more like a ‘Dear Diary’, but it’s something that right now I am feeling truly impassioned about.
Everything I write about, I have learned the hard way first, then gone on to learn more so I could understand better, letting go of limiting beliefs is no exception. Except I am still in the ‘learning the hard way’ part of my journey.
This area has been the hardest one for me, I think it is because these beliefs are buried so deep in my unconscious mind that it took me a long time to even discover they were there, then I had to find out what they were, and how on earth they had got there. This is where I stalled. Knowing where, when and how was such a huge learning curve for me that I put all my energies into understanding them. When you spend so much time thinking about them, it has the opposite effect to what I wanted and needed. I was wanting to move on from them, but it seems I have just held on tighter to them.
So, once we’ve found these limiting beliefs, identified them, discovered how they got there in the first place, how do we let them go?
1. We start by acknowledging that they don’t belong to us, they are not ours, never have been and never will be. Say it out loud that they are not yours and don’t belong in your mind.
2. The words ‘letting go’ sounds like we are parting with an old friend, just because they have been with us for so long, we seem to have an attachment to them. Letting go, sounds as though we need to hold on, sounds sudden, like we will fall if we let go. Try using the word ‘release’ instead. To release something is to set it free. By setting your limiting beliefs free, you are setting yourself free.
3. Positive affirmations are a great help in putting in the positive unlimited beliefs that are true to who you are. Work out what you want, where you want to be, who you want to be and make sure your positive affirmations are clear, concise, to the point, and worded in the positive. Not, don’t, won’t, can’t etc. can not be part of any positive affirmation. Do’s, will’s, can’s and even ‘I’m gonna’s’ are the way to keep the positive affirmation, positive.
Positive affirmations are personal to your needs, take some time out with a pen and paper and write down everything you want, everything you want to be, the kind of people you want to be surrounded with. Then from the notes you have made, write out YOUR personal positive affirmations. Pin them up where you can see them every day to remind you to say them loud and proud until they become part of you and your everyday life.
4. As you do your positive affirmations and your old limiting beliefs start to try and override what you are saying, tell them they are no longer welcome, and that they can go back to where they came from. Don’t give them time or energy in your mind, they are obsolete. Any focus you give them with strengthen them, the positive affirmations will weaken them.
5. Other tools that may help:
· Writing them down and then burning the paper they are written on.
· Tapping – Tap on your limiting beliefs, and your positive affirmations until the Positives are strong and the negatives are weak and can no longer fight for your attention.
· Talking through the process with a friend, a therapist or even your pet (they tend to be great listeners).
Ok, so I’m going to get started on ‘releasing’ the last (I hope) of my limiting beliefs. If you are doing this too, please let me know how you get on, and if you have any tips on releasing limiting beliefs please feel free to share them with us all, I’d love to hear your story.
Remember you are better than you think you are xx