Positive Thinking: Just a Load of Fluff and Nonsense or Is There More to It?

Lisa Edwards
Sep 3
4 min read

If you ask some people, in fact, I think that if you asked a lot of people, you will definitely get the ‘it’s a lot of fluff and nonsense’ answer. If not that you may get ‘it’s toxic positivity’ ‘pretending everything is okay when it’s not.’ ‘Oh, just think positive and everything will work out, what a load of nonsense’. It also gets confused with ‘wishful thinking’.

For me… it was and always has been a life saver. It saved my life and my daughters life the night she came into this world, and it has saved my life many times since.

For me it was never about pretending that everything was okay; it clearly wasn’t, it was but knowing it would be. Positive thinking gave me hope, it gave me hope that there was a better life for me. It gave me a life raft to cling to. It gave me something worth fighting for, worth pushing through the torment for, living for. I had been struggling all my life, not knowing what was wrong with me, why I didn’t feel loved or as though I was an extra hired to fill a gap rather than part of the main cast that made up my family. Eventually I saw a therapist who listened intently and then as she spoke, I got a name for it. Abuse. Mental, Emotional, Psychological Abuse. My world changed.

When I had to face the depths of the abuse I had endured – to realise that I had no one in my life I could trust, no one to turn to – to know all those who are supposed to love me, protect me and have my back had been sticking knives in it over and over. I had to know there was better for me, that I could get away from them and live a life where I would be loved, cherished, respected and wanted for being me. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.

For me, Positive Thinking is about knowing there is always a way, always a solution, always a way forward, a way out, an answer, a resolution, a remedy. It is knowing that nothing lasts forever, that change happens, change is good, it’s about growth, resilience, strength, self-awareness, trusting yourself, it’s about kindness, compassion, and love for yourself and others, it’s about living in the moment, letting things go, learning from mistakes and life’s failures, it’s about not letting life’s crap get you down, it’s not giving up or giving in, it’s about fighting for what you believe in because it’s worth it. It’s becoming a better, wiser you, it’s not putting up with other people’s bulls**t or abuse, it’s loving yourself, it’s respecting yourself, it’s giving yourself the best chance, not just at survival, but at thriving at life.

Some will dismiss it as fluff, others a toxic fantasy, but I am still here. I am still here, and my life now looks remarkably different. I am no longer stuck in a state of fight or flight. I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am no longer waiting to someone to come and screw up a perfectly good day. I have learned what relaxing is, I have discovered what calm truly is and not just the one before the storm, a constant calm that allows for clear thoughts and creativity. I now understand how powerful a mindset is and that is it possible to reclaim one that has been conditioned to believe you deserve bad things to happen to you and to not feel worthy of love, money, security or even feeling safe. All I know after coming from the depths of despair, positive thinking is powerful thinking.

If you need to start at the very beginning, to discover the very basics of changing a mindset when your mind is swimming with negative and desperate thoughts or survival and you want to dip you toe into the waters of positive thinking to see how it can help you to overcome and eventually heal from abuse or whatever hideous situation you find yourself in, check out my very easy read book ‘Positive Thinking for Beginners’. I wrote it after noticing that, due to the stress and overwhelm at facing up to the hideous situation I found myself in, I found it difficult to concentrate on large pieces of text and to retain the information. When stress levels are that high and your fight or flight in engaged permanently, retention is low, whether reading something, watching something or even just having a conversation. I wrote this during my recovery for people who needed an easy read, easy comprehension version. My plan was to do a for intermediates then for experts and manifesters, that may still happen. Check it out here.