It’s all too easy to just go with the flow, do what you’ve always done, stick with what you know, but if that’s not making you happy it may be time to take control of your life instead of letting it have control over you.
So many of us spend our lives, not as we planned but as it panned out. Ask yourself, is this the life you wanted or the one you fell into because you did what others expected you to do? Is this a life you are going to look back on and proudly tell your great grand children about or will you use it as a cautionary tale to encourage them to live their best life?
If you are dreaming of a life lived better there are steps you can put into place today to make the rest of your life the best of your life:
· Take responsibility for where your life is now.
Others may have said or done things that led you into this life you are currently living, they may have held you back, made you feel you’re not good enough to do or be any better, they may have bullied you or suppressed you, they may have stood in the way of opportunities, they may have laughed at your dreams and ambitions. They may have sown the seed, but you let it grow. You took it on and allowed their limiting beliefs to get inside your mind and affect who you are. Stop blaming others for your misfortunes and take responsibility for where you are, it’s the only way you can stop holding on to the bitterness and resentment and move forward.
Once you take on board that you did have a choice, you will see that you always have a choice. You and you alone are responsible for your life.
· Accept what you cannot change.
There are some things in life that you don’t have control over, there are certain circumstances that occur that you cannot control no matter how hard you try. If you can’t change or control something then the only way forward is to change how you deal with it, how you react to it. Find a way that helps you deal with it, and stop getting frustrated because it’s not happening the way you wanted it to.
The thing we never have control over is other people. You cannot change someone into what you want them to be, or even what you thought they were. You cannot make someone learn something, you cannot make someone see that what they are doing or how they are treating you is wrong unless they want to see it. If someone is continually making you sad, upset, frustrated, unhappy, distressed etc. and talking to them hasn’t helped change their behaviour, then you have to change yours, decide whether or not you want to spend time in their company.
· Take care of yourself
For you to take control of your whole life, a good place to start would be to take care of yourself physically. Do you exercise regularly? Do you eat food that give your body the nutrition it needs to function well? Do you get enough sleep at night?
Your mental health, your emotional health and your general wellbeing all benefit from you taking good care of yourself physically. If you want to wake up in the morning feeling energised and motivated, you have to put the work in.
· Write list of things you want to change about your life, now check the list and see if any of them are not things that YOU control.
The things on the list that are not in your control – think of how you can change your reaction to them, how you deal with them to make it easier for you.
The things on the list that are within your control – work out one thing you can do today to start making the changes, even if they are a very small baby step, it’s still a step in the right direction.
· Take time out for yourself to do something you love to do, something you enjoy, something that makes you smile.
Taking time out to do something you love - whether it be a walk along the beach, a stroll in the park, a soothing bubble bath, sit outside with a coffee and do some people watching or go for a massage – not only gives you enjoyment and lifts your spirits but helps to clear your mind.
· Write up your list of goals and dreams and put it where will see it every day.
The biggest reason people do not even begin to pursue their dreams is because they do not write them down, they put them to the back of their minds, or in the ‘too hard basket’ and eventually forget about them.
Put them on display so you are reminded everyday to pursue them, to reach for them, to actively work towards them.
Whether they are big or small they still need you to take action to be attainable.
Take control, only you know how your life was meant to be, only you know what makes you happy and spending your life doing what makes you happy is how you know you are on the right path. Start today.
Remember you are better than you think you are x