Updated: Oct 5
Once upon a time us women were expected to sit around and wait for a knight in shining armour to come along and rescue us from the dreariness that was our life. (Sadly, a lot of women still believe this and there are plenty still teaching this to their children. Disempowering them at a young age.)
It never sat well with me that I was ‘not enough’ on my own that I had to have a partner to fix things – me included. But having it ingrained in me from an early age I just went along with it, not knowing I didn’t have to. Until I found myself single in my forties and everyone was encouraging me to find a new partner I realised that if I jumped into a new relationship too quickly I would be taking all my emotional baggage with me, dooming the relationship before it had really began, plus if I didn’t work on how I ended up in such a toxic relationship, I was probably going to end up repeating it – and that was not an option for me.
I realised that no-one could ‘fix-me’ but me. So, I decided to go it alone, working on myself – past, present and future.
I went on a journey to discover what had led me to where I was, to discover who I really am and what I really want out of life.
I am so far from the person who left that toxic relationship.
I understood myself only after I had destroyed myself. And in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was. - Sade Andria Zabala
I learn something new about myself every day, I discover old limiting beliefs, allowing me to let them go, I find new things I enjoy, I have learned to accept what I cannot change and to change what I cannot accept – sometimes that change is to walk away and never look back.
I’m not saying that you have to be single to be your own super-hero, that was just my journey – but please don’t stay in a relationship for the sake of it, it will drain you – be with someone because you want to be with THEM, not because you want to be with somebody. You don’t need to be with anyone to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be YOU. You are enough on your own. You can be anything you want to be. You can do anything you want to do.
You have everything you need – you have you.
Biggest obstacle I ever faced was my own limited perception of myself. - RuPaul
You can become your own super-hero by simply taking some time to find out who you are, what you want, discover your strengths, your weaknesses, your likes, your dislikes, your passions and your purpose.
Self-discovery and self-awareness are so empowering, even finding out your weakness and fears will be empowering.
The more you get to know yourself the more you will start to accept yourself and once you have self-acceptance you will begin to fall in love with who you really are, you’ll gain some self-compassion as well as self-confidence, and you’ll finally stop being so hard on yourself.
Finding out who you are is the first step. Accepting who you are can be the hard part. Enhancing who you are is the fun part. - Unknown
Your life is yours and yours alone. No-one else has any right to tell you what’s good for you, or what you should be doing, or who you should spend time with.
Accepting full responsibility for your life gives you the power to make changes where they are needed. Blaming others for whatever they have brought to your life gives the power to them. Take back your power NOW!
Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. - Les Brown
The more you know about who you are now, and how you became her the easier it is to see who you want to become. What does the best version of you look like? What does she do? What doesn’t she do?
Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today. - Brendon Burchard
As Dolly Parton once said – ‘Find out who you are and do it on purpose.’
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Drop in to my Etsy store Positive Life by Design for great printables to help you on your journey.