Every single one of us has a fundamental need to be loved. We all want to feel cherished and worthy of love. The trouble is many of us look for it in all the wrong places. We turn to others to fulfill this innate need, this burning desire. Which probably has some bearing on why so many relationships fail in the long term.
In the words of RuPaul “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
We each have everything we need to fulfill our own desires, our own worthiness. If we focused on that instead of waiting for someone else to do it for us, we would be so much happier in ourselves, which would make it far easier to find and attract the people that will love us for who we are and that will compliment us and our life. The people who will help us be a better version of ourselves and encourage us to reach our full potential.
The love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else, is the love and attention you first need to give yourself. - Bryant McGill
We want other people to treat us as though we are special, valuable, desirable, unique, extraordinary, important, invaluable, attractive…
We want them to treat us with kindness, respect, generosity, compassion, thoughtfulness…
We want them to bring us joy, laughter, fun, adventure, security, safety, excitement, happiness, opportunities…
We want them to make us feel as though they can’t live without us… well guess what, you can’t live without you either!
So how about you start to treat yourself with kindness, generosity, compassion, thoughtfulness… bring yourself joy, laughter, fun, adventure, security, safety, excitement, happiness, opportunities… treat yourself as special, valuable, desirable, unique, extraordinary, important, invaluable, attractive, as you really are.
"Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others." - Christopher Germer
And if you can’t see that you are worthy of all the above, you need to take a good look in the mirror and see who’s really there, not what the negative committee in your head tells you is there, no, that’s not real at all.
Look for yourself and you will see a person that deserves love, deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, someone who wants to spend their live enjoying it and everything it has to offer.
While you are standing there looking in the mirror, look yourself in the eye and remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have done for others, remind yourself of the obstacles you have overcome, remind yourself how amazing you really are.
Do this on a daily basis until you final get the message and understand that you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention.” - Buddha
And once you fall in love with yourself, life will hold no bounds for you. And once other people can see how you treat yourself, they will assume that that is what’s expected, and they will do the same as you.
So if you want to be loved, love yourself, if you want to be respected, respect yourself, you have to give to yourself what you want from others.
People treat you the way you treat yourself, so treat yourself like you are the extraordinary person that you truly are. Love yourself like you deserve to be loved. And know that you are worthy of every single bit of it all.
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