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Why It Seems Everyone Else Has It All Together While You Feel You’re Just About Holding It Together

Updated: Jun 10

Woman with frustrated expression with blog title

Do you ever look at other people and feel that they are doing so much better than you? They seem to know what they are doing, where they are going in life, what they want to do, they know who they are and appear confident and poised and you feel none of these.


Why does everyone else seem to have it all together while you feel it’s taking you all you’ve got just to hold it together?

The problem is, it’s an unfair comparison... as Steven Furtick once said The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.’... you can only see the surface of other people’s lives, and you’re comparing it to the behind the scenes of yours.

Projector and screen with quote text

'The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.' - Steven Furtick

If you saw, I mean really saw what is going on behind the scenes in other people’s lives’ you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I quote Regina Brett when I say If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”

If you could see below the surface of almost anyone else’s life you would see that they are no different from you, the problems may be different, the issues they face may be different too, but they are still there in everybody’s life. And just like you they are just muddling through making the best decisions they can in the circumstances they are in at any give time.

The lady you passed in the street who looked so sophisticated in her beautifully put together outfit, spent three hours trying on every outfit she has and feels not good enough in everything she does.

The colleague who was laughing and joking with everyone at work today was doing everything she could to hide the fact her heart was breaking as her partner had just run off with her best friend.

The man who happily helped the young mum with her shopping bags and pram at the shops had only stopped to pick up some flowers for his mum who lives in a care home. He has visited every week and watched her slowly deteriorate with Alzheimer’s and probably won’t even know who he is.

It's bad enough that we compare ourselves to the people we see in the street or have a brief encounter with but then there is the social media people and influences that we compare ourselves and our lives to.

The ones that look like models that have just stepped off the cover of Vogue, those that seem to spend their lives traveling from great location to great location and never seem to have an off day, or those that have the perfect Pinterest homes, or even those that bang on about being positive all the time (a-hem is that me I’m referring to?) it’s so easy to look at or read what these people have to say and assume that they have it all figured out.

The simple truth is none of us know what we are doing, we are all just muddling through trying to make the best decisions we can at any given time. We all have doubts and fears about whether we are doing the right thing. We all have insecurities that we are trying to overcome. We all think that everyone else’s life looks so much better than ours.

Stop comparing yourself with anyone else. Their journey is theirs and yours is your own. What-ever path you are on, know that you are on it for a reason. And if you want to be on a different path, make it happen. Congratulate yourself when you get over one of life’s hurdles, celebrate all of your achievements no matter how big or small they may seem. Remind yourself that you are better than you think you are and get out there and be the best version of you that you can be.

Oh, and by the way, I can pretty much guarantee that someone has looked at you and thought – they look like they have life sussed, or I wish my life was as together as theirs.

I hope you enjoyed reading 'Why It Seems Everyone Else Has It All Together While You Feel You’re Just About Holding It Together', -don't forget to Save this to your Pinterest boards for later :)

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